Can't leave well enough alone

I've been thinking all night that what I've written could be construed as only being directed at mothers of younger children, and that's not what I intended.  There are different challenges as children grow older, but they can be equally difficult.  Each child is a person with her (or his) own voice and will, and sometimes she (or he) will follow paths and make choices that you may not agree with, or that may even cause you great heartache.  There may be conflict.  There will be worry.  I have learned in life that things tend to turn out better than I could ever imagine they would in the dark times.  Despite every indication that it would not be so, all of my siblings and I grew up to be kind, loving, relatively responsible adults, and none of us are in prison.  Our beliefs vary.  Our paths in life have been very different.  But things have a way of working out, especially if you act from a place of love.  Children often need you the most when they push you away, but they may need you to show up a little differently.  You can't hold their hand every time they cross the street for the rest of their lives, but you can listen and care and pray and stand up for the very best in them.  You can show them you trust their goodness.  And what I've said applies to all mothers--including adoptive and adopted moms, step-moms, and those of us who are simply moms-at-heart.  My heart has ached more than I can say over children I cannot rightfully claim as my own.  I don't know what life holds for any of us, but I know that caring matters, even when the one we care for doesn't seem to appreciate or understand.  Even when we are pained by the pain she doesn't yet see, but that we know is coming.  Be willing to catch your children when they fall, soft or hard--they need it.  And know that, though you may want to with all your heart, you cannot take their pain on yourself.  It does not lessen their pain but can incapacitate you to help them.  I had to learn that the hard way.  Let their pain be theirs.  Let them learn the lessons they need, but hold their hand and listen and give them your shoulder to cry on.  Hang in there, all of you.  You're not alone.