Addendum

Okay, so I told myself I should be content with what I wrote as it was, but I just can't. You see, I forgot maybe the most important thing. The best way for us to know ourselves is a bit of a paradox. We come to know ourselves best when we forget ourselves--forget worrying about discovering who we really are--and go out and focus on other people. We know ourselves best when we love and help people and contribute to the world the best way we know how. For example, I know who my mother really is. I don't know her because I've interviewed her and asked her all the questions I mentioned before. I know her because for 35 years I've watched her live and love and care for people and do what is important to her. I've seen the real-life application of the fact that my mother is the kind of person who, if you show up on her doorstep hungry, lost, tired, hot or cold, or sick, she will invite you in, make you a peanut butter sandwich (because it's what she has), lead you (apologetically) to our couch, help you figure out where you are and where you're going, invite you to stay as long as you like, and get you two Ibuprofen. She is the kind of person who welcomes a stranger to Thanksgiving dinner and who sits next to a woman struggling with lively or sick or ornery children and asks if she can hold one (or two). I know all this, not because of what I've been told, but because I've seen it in real life. If you want to find yourself, do what you feel is right. Help people. Strive to make the world a better place. Notice how you do it and how willing and happy you are to do it. Then you'll really see.